As a totally impulsive decision i decided to name my new blog page "Deeply Disturbed." I began to question why this name came to me so suddenly, as if it was already thought out, planned. For a while now I have began to question my own identity, to dig deeper into my mental psyche and find out who I am. I am a person who, in the past, has felt so insecure in mediocrity that numerous lies were told, piled upon each other, to make myself seem....Grander. Here is the only definite facts i know about my self.

1. I'm 16.
2. I'm Gay.
3. I have lost all sense of myself.

Yet, although i feel that to break out of my current lapse in motovation and better judgement, I think that if i really wanted to find out who i was i would have done it long ago. Truth be told i am comfortable living in numbness of my own making, emotionally cold and disconnected, yet deeply human and over emotional. A contodicition in terms yes, yet for anyone who has been in my current position i am sure it is easy to relate to.


But back to the title. What does it mean. Its it a manifestation of the fact that i worry deeply that i dont think like a human should? Is it that i think, (or rather would like to think), that my life is fucked up beyond repair? Or, is it simply a self indulgent eye catching title which holds no meaning whatsoever, yet makes me think that something a little deeper is achievable.

Why cant it be all these things?